Goodbye is Not Forever

"Thomas Edison's last words were it's very beautiful over there

I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere

And I hope it's beautiful, like you."

~John Green, Looking for Alaska

One year. It seems like such an intangible, stretching, unimaginable length of time. It's hard to look ahead to tomorrow, let alone 365 days from now. But looking back, it feels like just the blink of an eye. So much has happened in what seems like such a short amount of time. So much has been lost, so many tears have been shed, so many memories have made me smile.

Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days. That's what a year is, based on our calendar. But how do you really measure how time has passed?

Nick, you've been gone for 365 days. 525,600 minutes. 12 months. ONE YEAR. And yet, it feels like just yesterday I was smiling at you in the hall, sitting in classes with you, fighting girls vs. boys in Geography Jeopardy. Cheering you on in basketball and soccer, and admiring your beautiful spirit from afar.

You were never afraid of anything, Nick. You grabbed every minute and second of life and made the best of it. You were always having so much fun, and you made sure that the people around you were having fun too. If they weren't already, you did something crazy, something so completely YOU, to make them have fun. I'm not sure I'll ever understand how you lived so beautifully. For now, I'll just have to stick with admiring how you lived.

One year, and I still can't grasp why you were taken. You deserved life, Nick. You really did. Or do. You really DO. I can't help but believe that someone needed you more than we need you down here. And wherever you are, whoever you're with, I know you're making it beautiful. You're spreading your light with that constant smile, easy laugh, and beautiful spirit. Playing basketball and helping out all of the people around you. Just don't forget us down here. Because we always love you and we always remember you.

We're doing okay, Nick, but it will never be the same without you. It's hard to recover completely from such a loss. But I'm doing the best I can, Nick, in your memory. Maybe you could just send down a smile and a little bit of strength to all of us. We're smiling up at you and remembering your beauty, that's for sure.

Pieces of you and your soul will forever be trapped in my memory. You taught me a lot about how to live, more through your life than your death. So thank you for everything, Nick. I love you forever. Someone so beautiful didn't deserve to be taken so soon, but I know there's a reason. I may never understand that reason, but at least I know there is one.

You are in my heart, mind, and soul forever. Goodbye is not forever, Nick. It's definitely not.

Word of the day: Pulchritudinous--angelic, beautiful, lovely

Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "For any one of us our forever could end in an hour, or a hundred years from now. You never know for sure, so you'd better make every second count." ~Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever