Never Really Alone

Have you ever had a friend who you just completely connect with, no matter how long it's been since you've seen or talked to each other? Someone who completely understands you, makes you feel sane and safe, and with whom you can share anything without feeling judged?

If you haven't, I really hope you find one. Because they are the best people in the world, and, in my opinion, epitomize the true definition of a friend.

Today I met up with a dear friend who I haven't seen in 7 months. We met in Pueblo since it was a sort of halfway point between where both of us live, and mostly just walked around in neighborhoods and TALKED. Honestly, just talking to someone is the nicest, most beautiful, and most comforting thing in the world.

I think the most beautiful thing about the time I spent with her today was the fact that we just connected and started talking immediately, even though we hadn't seen each other in so long. I mean, we have Facebook and text to talk,* but there is something different about talking face to face. It's infinitely more personal and, hence, more comforting. Sometimes there's that little bit of awkwardness when you see someone you haven't seen face-to-face for a long time, but that's never happened with us. It didn't happen in January (and that time it had been 11 months), and it didn't happen today. We just started talking naturally about this and that, jumping from topics, laughing, and sharing memories.

I won't say that we're the same person, because obviously we have our own issues, thoughts, lives, families, friends, experiences, etc. We're individuals, clearly. But I see so much of myself in her. It could be considered a little freaky, but I mostly just think of it as so...NICE. Because it means that I understand her really well, and I feel she really understands me. Obviously we can't understand everything, because some things just can't be shared. But the place and circumstances in which we met mean that we have the ability to share a lot more with each other than many people do. We have had one incredibly similar experience and our personalities match in many ways, so I feel like we understand a lot about each other without needing to use so many words. I mean, she's probably one of the only friends with whom it feels completely natural to sit in silence at certain times, because we both know we're just thinking--not judging, but thinking.

I trust her with a lot. And I'm not good with trust at all. Basically, the 3 hours we spent together today reminded me that I'm not alone. Other people feel this way. Everyone has issues. But that's okay.

Really, I think that the fact that we all have issues should be something that connects us, rather than something that separates us from society because we're "crazy" or think a little differently or struggle with our inner thoughts. Everyone does have issues, and I think it becomes a lot easier when we talk about them with other people. It really is okay. We have every right to be imperfect. We have every right in the world to be HUMAN.

I have several other people that I feel the same way with, but I mostly talk to them online.** Which is nice and helpful and comforting. But actually hearing the words and the emotion and being able to share them yourself is really the best medicine in the world. Not because it fixes us, but because it reminds us that it's okay. It's okay to think these things and feel this way, especially because a fix isn't that easy. And, really, beauty lies in the imperfections. Anyone who says otherwise is just denying their own imperfections. Imperfections connect us far more than perfection ever could, if it even could exist.

We're all different, but deep inside I think we're more alike than we will ever know unless we find someone who makes us feel sane again, who won't judge us, and with whom we feel completely comfortable talking AND listening.

I want to thank her so much for such a lovely day. And for reminding me that it's all okay. I'm not alone in this. We so need other people to talk to and lean on to get through the messy labyrinth of life. Thank you so much, dear, for being one of those essential people for me. I love talking to you and listening to you. You make so much sense to me, and I only hope I do too.

I know that was a very personal blog post, but I do want to drive home this one point: Don't hide away from life, especially your issues. Find someone you feel completely comfortable with, and just TALK. We can't show other people how we feel, and they can't show us how we look, but we can do our best with true words. Words are so powerful. Use them, connect, and know that you're okay.

To lighten things up: As I've started driving more recently since I'm FINALLY getting my license soon, I've noticed the stupid things drivers do. Several occurred on the drive down to Pueblo today. One car decided he had to go around a car on the shoulder of the highway with its lights flashing, which makes NO sense, since it was not at all in the way. Said driver was also driving ridiculously slow, so I passed them after he passed the stalled car. Bleurgh. I also ran into several cars that could not decide which lane they wanted to be in or where they wanted to turn, so kept braking and turning their signals on and off and going a little bit into the next lane before deciding against it, and...Yeah. Perhaps this is part of the reason I hate driving...

Also, what is wrong with walking? We got so many people staring/honking at us today as we walked through neighborhoods. However, I did have this thrill in the fact that at one point we were walking along US Highway 50. That's right. I walked on the shoulder of a highway, AND we sprinted across it since there weren't any crosswalks close to the Starbucks. Brush with danger FTW!!! I realize this makes me sound pathetic, that I'm excited about walking on a highway, but in the Springs all we have is I-25, and that would probably be a death sentence if you walked on the shoulder. So, I felt dangerous and a little like a rebel. Don't judge.

Since the above was filled with some pretty heavy stuff,*** I think I will leave you with some fun. Cue "In Your Pants"!!!

An Ordinary Man...In Your Pants

A Little Princess...In Your Pants

Where the Red Fern Grows...In Your Pants

Catching Fire...In Your Pants

The Funny Thing Is...In Your Pants!

Cheers!!!

Days left of summer: 5

Inspirational quote/photo of the day:

*Thank goodness I live in the generation of social networking, text messages, and Skype. Or else I would have to resort to letters to connect with people. And while I do love letters, there's something about instantaneous contact :) Yep.

**No, really. I am so glad the internet exists, because it does allow me to talk to these special people rather than lose contact with them. And I'm so glad I've stayed in touch, because it's nice to have people to talk to about certain things.

***I am noticing a pattern here, and you probably are too. I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to communicate what's actually going on in my life and head. Hopefully soon that will be something a little funnier...