First, this was posted to my formspring:
Please don't say you're not pretty.. sometimes I feel as if that is just asking for someone to say it. You were made to be YOU, so don't be upset if you don't see the beauty in yourself. Obviously others do.
I have a feeling it was my sister, since no one else really even knows/remembers that I have one since I got a little sick of it and stopped "advertising" it in March. But alas, it is anonymous, so I will probably never know. The first part of the question hit me in a weird way, because I am by no means asking for someone to tell me that I'm pretty. Believe me, I have no idea how to react when/if someone does tell me that, as you will see from several responses on my formspring. I'd honestly prefer that people don't tell me that I'm pretty, because then I can avoid that awkwardness.
But it got me thinking about the idea that we can't see ourselves the way other people see us, which reminded me of a quote from Paper Towns, and also my comment yesterday that sharks are beautiful creatures, but no one sees that because...well, they're a little terrifying. Anyway, all three of those items come together to form the title of this blog post: Issues with Perception
"Humans lack good mirrors. It's so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel." ~John Green, Paper Towns
You have no idea how true that quote from Paper Towns is for me. Well, for all of us, really, but what I'm trying to say is that when I read that sentence, it hit me in a different way. It's just so true, something that I had been thinking to myself for a very long time. You don't really expect to see your thoughts laid out in a best-selling novel (though remarkably more eloquent and coherent). But there they are.
For the majority of us, it's so hard to see who we really are, in the eyes of our closest friends, family, and complete strangers. I think that we get this picture or idea in our minds of who we are, and that is a very stubborn image that does not want to change. I feel like a lot of people like that idea of themselves, and the rest of society does too, but the two do not necessarily see the same things still. On the other hand, there's the people who don't like that idea, even though the rest of society values them and sees their beauty.
That would be me.
(Note: I'm not trying to dig for compliments here. Just the opposite, actually. I'm stating facts.)
No matter how often someone tells me that I'm beautiful, strong, inspirational, courageous, wonderful, valuable, or deserving, there's something in my mind that won't accept it. I mean, I've gotten better than I used to be at accepting compliments rather than contradicting people (most of the time), but they never really sink in or become a fundamental part of how I think of myself. To me, I'm not any of those things. Now, on some level, they must be true, because all these people that I care about and that care about me can't be lying. No, it's something in me that...if not exactly lying, is preventing me from seeing reality, from seeing what other people see.
On the other hand, there's things that I see in people that they can't see in themselves, so I know I'm not the only one. I just feel like it's a huge issue in the way we perceive ourselves versus the way that other people perceive us. What's really true vs. what we tell ourselves is true. We all have our own version of reality, of ourselves, of everyone around us. But most of the time we can't force ourselves to see someone else's reality. I think the best we can do is just listen to their viewpoint and accept it as a possibility, even if it never sinks in to become a part of our reality.
The second part of the quote. Goodness. I agree wholeheartedly. It's so hard for us to show ANYONE how we really feel. We can use the general words, "I'm sad," "I wish things were different," "I'm so excited!" etc, but those words only scratch the surface of what really lies below. Paul Rusesabagina said it best--Words are the most powerful weapon in man's arsenal. But sometimes they're still not enough. We can use other variations of art as well (dance, music), but are we really, really showing people how we feel? Can they ever really know? I'm not so sure. The best we can do is just to try to understand and support each other, whether or not we really know the person or not.
Basically, we only know one version of all of our friends, and one version of ourselves. There's a thousand different versions of each and every one of us, based on the perceptions and images that other people form about us. But with so many versions, the real person gets lost. Who are we really? My best guess is a mixture of all of those versions and perceptions, but it's difficult to know which parts are really there and which aren't.
So I suppose the best we can do is just try. Forgive, love, laugh, run, express joy. And LIVE. Even if we don't really know who we are yet. It's okay--no one else knows us any better. We still know ourselves best.
Wow. That was kind of a depressing sounding blog post. Woops.
Anyway, I did watch some more of Shark Week while typing this up. It's funny, because it terrifies me of ever going swimming in the ocean on the one hand, but on the other hand it gives me a thrill when I see the clear water and all of the life in that place that we haven't really studied yet. Oh, I can't wait to study marine biology. *happy sigh*
Also, there was a GRASSHOPPER in my room last night!!! I have no clue how it got down there or why it didn't jump away when my mom killed it,* but...GAH! I'm just a little scared of them now. One hopped in front of me while I was walking in my neighborhood earlier, and I shrieked quietly and jumped out of the way.** Honestly, I don't mind bugs until they enter my place of living and sleeping. Stay outside, dear bugs, where you belong, and I will let you live. Really.
Right. Well. I promise tomorrows post won't sound so...melancholic. Sorry about that. But it's something I needed to say. And I hope maybe it was at least a little thought-provoking?*** Just remember, you are so many things you think you're not. Life is beautiful, despite the pain.
Daily Shark Week picture****:
(That would be the Discovery Channel building. YES.)Daily Shark Week fact: You are more likely to die from a collapsing sand hole while building a sand castle on the beach than die because of a shark attack.
Days left of summer: 13
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "It seems that different people have an idea of what I am, and what I should be. And then there's me." ~Ani DiFranco --choose who you are--
*I know, I'm pathetic. I kill moths and spiders and centipedes and ants and beetles myself. But I didn't know how to deal with a grasshopper, okay?!
**Hopefully no one saw that....
***Ahem. Wishful thinking, probably. :D
****Two new things I'm adding as long as shark week is going on: A daily picture and a daily fact. Enjoy!
No comments:
Post a Comment