27 October 2012

Why I Voted for Obama: Reflections of a First-Time Voter

Okay, so before you read the less elegant but still completely heartfelt words of an almost 20-year-old first time voter, I want to point you to some brilliant articles and videos concerning this year's election:

John Green's Reasons for Obama
The New Yorker's Endorsement of Obama

Okay. So now that I've put out a few much more intelligent writings about why Obama is a good president, I'll give you my own reasons. I know any friends of mine who read this blog either 1) Have already voted or are definitely going to vote for Obama 2) Are definitely going to vote for Romney and there's no way I can change your mind or 3) Are not going to vote (this is a whole other issue, but since the registration deadline has long passed, one I can no longer fix).

That being said, I hope this blog entry can reach out to just one undecided voter, or one registered voter who thought they weren't going to vote. I understand that in our current political climate, it's easy to get disillusioned by our country and decide not to vote at all because (in the words of my roommate) "Both candidates suck." But, that is a mistake. Maybe you don't like the economic plans of either guy. Maybe you like the economic plans of one but not his social plans. Maybe you wish you lived in Canada. Maybe you have NO idea what any of the issues really are. But regardless of your reason, I cannot impress on you enough how important it is that you vote. It is your responsibility as a citizen of our nation, and your opinion matters. Maybe one vote won't change the whole election, but the message you send to the candidates, your neighbors, the world, and yourself by voting is absolutely important.

Now, I will admit that voting came naturally to me. I registered to vote last November when I finally remembered I was over 18 and could now vote. My dad taught political science at the Air Force Academy, ran for office in 2010, and is currently the Public Trustee of El Paso County. My stepmom studied and taught international relations. As a family, we spent long hours volunteering for the Obama campaign, the Pete Lee campaign, and the Hal Bidlack campaign. I participated in the IB program in high school, which emphasized the need for cultural and political intelligence.

So yes. I come from a political background. Many of you probably don't. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't vote.

I will freely admit that I do not understand as much about our economic policy, healthcare policy, or foreign policies as I probably should. I'm not a student of either political science or international relations. I'm a scientist and a dreamer. But I know what I have heard, I know what I have seen, and I know what I feel in my heart.

And I feel that Obama has done great things for our country. Here is an exhaustive (and slightly entertaining) list of what Obama has done in his four years. I may not understand every detail of our economy or our foreign relations. As a student with very little money, I am (understandably) biased toward the middle class owing less to the government. And yes, I do get a lot of my political knowledge from both my parents and the brilliant John Green.

But I think for myself. Yes, my parents influenced me growing up, as I watched them vote for and support the Democratic candidates I was seeing in the debates on TV. That being said, when I watched those debates, I didn't just blindly agree with the Democrat because my parents did. I listened, truly and intently, to what every candidate was saying. And I just naturally sided more with the Democrats. I didn't understand how the policies the Republicans put forward would help our nation to grow. I didn't like their social conservatism, and their ideas that not everyone was equal, despite what our Constitution says.

Sure, I don't agree with every Democratic measure. I certainly wish Obama would focus more on science than he does, because I truly believe scientific growth offers an enormous amount of economic and world growth to America. And when it comes to foreign policy, I remain largely undecided as to how we should act in the middle east. On the one hand, I think Obama is doing a good job (or at least a better job than Bush ever did). But on the other hand, I wonder how much we should get involved in their politics at all. It's a tough gray area for me, so I won't say that's a main reason I'm voting for Obama.

Anyway. I have ranted long enough, so let me get down to my reasons why this first-time voter voted for Obama on Tuesday (yay early voting!). These are not in order of importance necessarily, but merely in the order of when I thought about them.

1. Social policies.
Now, I will say this reason is perhaps the most important reason for me. I strongly believe that gay couples should have the right to get married. Not just a "civil union" but an actual marriage. I honestly do not understand the religious objections. Or the people who claim the definition of marriage is just between one man and one woman, who are clearly wrong. Obama has done so much to promote equality, and I honestly do not think I would be able to stand having this nation go backwards as far as its acceptance of gay couples.

More personally important, I strongly disagree with the Republican view of women's rights. Take away our right to contraceptive care, try to create "legitimate rape," reduce our access to jobs, healthcare, and opportunities...Where are we again? The 1800s? Or is it really 2012? Do we live in America, or did we suddenly get transported to an Afghanistan ruled by the Taliban? I cannot stand men thinking they can make the decisions for women. I could rant on and on about this subject for hours. Just a few days ago, this was a topic we were discussing in my online political science class, and I just kept writing my opinions. I had to stop and think, "when did I become such a feminist?"

When? When men decided women did not have the same rights as everyone else. When men such as this crazy guy decided rape was a "gift from God." When men decided they could decide not to be a father (condoms) but women couldn't decide not to be mothers. When politics decided it could get involved in a woman's uterus. And when all of the rights women have fought so hard for face the very real threat of being stripped away by Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney.

I fear for a world, an America run by those to men, and their team of conservative Republicans. I fear for myself, for any daughter I may one day  have, for my mother, my grandmother, my stepmother, my sister, my friends. I fear for my dad, and for men around the world. I fear for every single women in every single country. Because if America is truly as influential a country as we all think it is, what kind of message do we send to the world when we start stripping away the rights of women to control their own health?

We tell third-world nations that we approve of their policies of "criminal abortions" (jail time for women). We tell women everywhere that they have to get dangerous, back alley abortions in order to save their lives. And we tell every woman, including ourselves, you don't matter. I cannot imagine letting today's young girls inherit that world. It breaks my heart.

(Enough of that ranting...)
2) Science, energy, technology, and education.
As a scientist, these issues are second most important to me. And while I am disappointed by how little Obama has done in office to promote science and technology, I'm pleased with what he has done. He continues to support scientific research. He promotes depending less on foreign oil and trying to create new jobs here in America in the clean energy sector. Yes, I wish he would give NASA and NOAA more funding. But at least he strongly supports scientific education. And, more importantly, he supports education for everyone.

I know this is a touchy subject, but I believe college should be cheaper for everyone. In most of Europe, college is free or at least very very cheap. I know, a lot of older adults argue that "well, I had to work three jobs and borrow money to make my way through college, so that's what you have to do!" To which I say...mmm, maybe we don't have to. Yes, it's important to work. But, no, college graduates should not be left with so much debt and so little job opportunities. I think there's something to be said for a nation that supports and promotes higher education so much that the populace is willing to spend just a little bit more tax money to fund the next generation. The next generation of ideas. The next generation of scientists, engineers, businessmen, politicians, artists, and foreign leaders who can bring real and lasting change to our country and build our economy.

3) Healthcare. 
We now move into the ideas I understand less well. I don't know much about the healthcare plans, but I know that Obamacare lets young people keep their healthcare until they are 25, which, under our current economic climate, is hugely valuable. I know that Obamacare makes hospital care more affordable for everyone. And I know it's not turning us into a socialist country. I've had the unfortunate experience of being hospitalized (near-death) and being lucky enough to receive the care I need at a low cost. I know how hard it is for people to find insurance if they have a pre-existing condition, even if it's a hereditary one they cannot choose.

I, like John Green, believe healthcare is a right. not a privilege. And lucky for me, so does Obama.

4) The economy. 
Again, I only recently really began to understand our economy thanks to that above John Green video. This may be my weakest area, but...I believe that those who make more should pay just a little bit more. I believe that the "47%" (which I am a part of) is not an irresponsible and needy group, but an extremely valuable and productive piece of America. I think there are many more important ways to cut the deficit than by stopping PBS funding.

Unfortunately, that's about where my economics knowledge dies. So if this is a huge concern for you, read the news. That's what I do.

5) Foreign policy. 
Now, again, I don't really know where I stand concerning the Middle East. And, currently, many countries in the middle east also don't know how they feel about America. But, Obama ended the war in Iraq. He started and has set a completion date for the war in Afghanistan. He has been far more friendly to our allies in Europe and Asia than Bush ever was. Certainly, the rest of the world likes Obama. For all of his shortcomings, Obama is a good guy. He's honest, apologetic when need-be, intelligent, and kind. He's very personable, and he is sure to respect other cultures.

Beyond that, I think it is hugely important that we have a president who understands geography and knows Iran already borders the sea. It doesn't need Syria to access the sea.

 

6) Immigration. 
Again, not a topic I am too well-informed about, but I know Romney's "voluntary deportation" is ridiculous. I want the DREAM Act to be passed. And if you think otherwise, I urge you to watch THIS FILM. 





Those are my top six reasons. I believe in equality, and Obama does too. He has done a lot over the past four years. I think our big problem as a nation is that we expect too much from our presidents. No president will be able to do everything he promised. World events, like the Arab spring, will get in the way. The opposing party in Congress will knock down bills. At the end of the day, Obama is a human being, with a wife, a family, and the same worries as the rest of us. 

I'm not saying Mitt Romney is evil. But he scares me. He scares me because I don't think he knows what he believes (cue Romnesia references here) and also I don't think he truly understands the importance of giving rights to everyone. And for all of my strong opinions on women's rights, education, and healthcare, I can understand why some people may choose, in 10 days, to vote for Romney. 

But he's not the right choice for me. And I strongly believe he is not the right choice for America.

I urge you to take into consideration what I have said. Really think about what you believe. And vote according to those beliefs. Read up on the candidates. There is still time to make a difference. Consider the importance of women's rights, gay rights, an equal and balanced economy, and a friendly world.

In the end, please consider Obama. He can and will do so much more for us in four years. We cannot afford to go backward, socially or economically.

Hope and change are still very much alive. And the powers of change exist in our hands, the hands of young Americans. Voting may seem tedious, politics boring, elections unimportant. But if you really stop to think about how much power you hold in your hands, how much of a difference your voice can make not just in our country but around the world, I think you will realize how exciting it is to vote.

Women for Obama. Young Americans for Obama. Nerds for Obama. 

Me for Obama.

Vote. Do it today, or do it on the 6th. But don't let your voice get lost. 

16 October 2012

Fears, Doubts, and (Sad) Realizations

Well hello there internet (and anyone who happens to read this). I cannot stress enough how much I always mean to write down my thoughts here, but never do. It's ridiculous. I mean, yes, I am extremely busy. I have a lot of homework to do. But wouldn't it be more productive in the long run to take breaks in homework by writing in here (even if I do it in 15 minute intervals instead of all at once) than by watching old vlogbrothers videos or surfing through Tumblr? Yes. Yes it would. And yet, I know that if I don't write, I can continue to avoid the anxieties, worries, etc plaguing me at the current time. And while I know that I shouldn't do that, I know how that affects me, it is oh so tempting. And so I don't write. I avoid, and then I just continue to worry in my head.

But. Not tonight! I have decided that since I did do a LOT of homework over the weekend, and since I happily discovered all my files on my flash drive were not lost (thank god), I can let myself sit down and write about how I've been feeling over the last month month or so. I mean, yeah, I probably am going to write a couple paragraphs, study a little, write a little, study a little, and repeat until this is finished and studying has progressed significantly. But I need to write. Yes, legitimately and literally need to.

Anyway. It's been a bit of a rough transition back to Hawai'i, I will openly admit. And by that, I mean that I think I discovered who my friends really are, and unfortunately it's not most of the people I hung out with last year. They don't seem to care enough, like me enough, think I'm "cool" enough to want to hang out with if it isn't convenient. My dear roommate still very much seems to enjoy hanging out with me, and I've maintained a few dorm friendships, but by and large I've been incredibly lonely. It's hard for me to make new friends now, especially when everyone in my classes already seems to have their groups of friends. And they aren't looking for new friends, at least not openly. I don't like the prospect of being the "new" girl who no one knows. I've been trying. I talk to people in my classes, I've started hanging out a little with people in my oceanography class, I played Quidditch at the end of September. I'm not completely alone.

And yet...I feel endlessly lonely. Why?

Because I don't have anyone I can talk to about the serious things anymore, it seems. Especially when you first meet someone, you don't try to talk to them about the things that really matter, like how they are feeling, what's going on in their life, what makes them cry or smile or laugh. But as I have said before, I crave that. I crave to ask the questions that matter. I want to look at the guy I hang out with on the boat and ask him how the ocean really makes him feel. I want to tell someone how sad I am. I want someone I can run around with at night, even if it's raining. I want to move away from the daily grind of weather, homework, and work.

I want something more.

But I don't know how to get there. I'll admit it, I'm scared of people not accepting me. I wish I could not care what other people think, but when I'm this lonely, I do. I want to be accepted and loved by people. And when so many "friends" have left me when they find cooler people to hang out with, I have a hard time trusting the idea that just being myself is enough. I feel like I have to change for other people. I don't want to, but I feel pressured. And so I'm not only lonely, but scared. And unable to live as the person I really am.

So I find myself missing home a lot. I miss my group of inspiring, heartfelt, and endlessly accepting young women. I miss my parents, who truly do love me no matter what happens. They know who I am, the good and the bad, and accept it all.

I haven't found my people here yet. And I'm afraid I won't. I wonder if this is the right college for me, but I'm too scared to leave.

Noticing a pattern? Yeah. I'm scared. Endless pattern in my life.

Recently, one of my dear friends, stuck in an abusive relationship, attempted suicide. I am so grateful she told me and reached out for help, but it reminded me of how fragile we all are. I have met so many beautiful people through eating disorder treatment, but each one of those people, including me, is just a touch more fragile than most other people I know. We feel deeply, love slowly, and hide our pain in the most invisible ways. I honestly don't know how I would react if I lost another friend, especially one so close. One who accepts me and loves me and knows me far better than anyone here in Hawai'i. But I don't think I would react well. I took me a year to come to a sense of peace about Nick's death, and I still miss him every single day. I'm scared, now more than ever, of losing another beautiful soul in my life. I love the stars, but I want the souls of my friends down here on earth for as long as possible.

This past Friday, I was walking through the grocery store, when a man spoke to me. He was just asking me a question about sharks, he was incredibly kind and sweet. And yet, I jumped. Have I become so used to being ignored by everyone around me that my body reacts with anxiety when someone decides to talk to me? This is a sad realization. I feel so lonely, I have become so used to the loneliness, that anxiety pops up even when a perfectly nice and sweet and well-meaning man wants to speak to me.

All in all, I just don't know what to do. I'm happy when I'm out on the ocean, but increasingly I am no longer able to do that. I'm happy when I'm laughing with friends, but that doesn't happen very often. I am happy with what I'm studying, but increasingly I am becoming overwhelmed and tired. I think, sometimes, I need a break from school. I need time to just explore. Explore the world, explore myself. Sleep under the stars away from everything, with people like me who crave to ask the questions that matter and thrive in the open.

I have come so far, and yet the fears, the doubts, and the loneliness still hold me back. I'm trying as hard as I can to be real, to be open, to love and dream and dance and breathe. But it's not always easy.

I need to find my people. I miss my people. I don't think I'm very good at being alone.

I want to ask the questions that matter, at night, floating in the sea under the stars.

Can I ever find that?

Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "You make nothing alone. Human beings are not mere competitors, and human life is not merely competition. We are collaborators. To be human is to catch the falling person." -John Green
Word of the day: fantods--a state of nervous irritability; the fidgets; the willies