NEDAwareness Week Day 4: On Eating Disorders and the Media

Yesterday I cautioned against saying that the media causes eating disorders. And I absolutely think that is necessary. To say that someone develops an eating disorder simply because of the images they see on TV or in the magazines grossly undermines how severe and grave eating disorders are. They are far too complex to have one single cause, and certainly far too complex to simply be caused by media portrayals of women.

That being said, eating disorders and media portrayals of women are certainly linked.

Often, the foundation of an eating disorder lies in a desire for control and perfection.

And therein lies the problem: our society today unfortunately puts up incredibly, often unhealthy and usually unrealistic body types on the pedestal as the ideal. No woman looks like the women we see in magazines. Many hours go in to retouching facial flaws, the size of one's waist, the placement of a breast or arm or eyebrow. If Barbie was a real woman, she would be unable to bear children. In fact, she would look like this:

Women, wonderful actresses and singers and comedians and politicians and reporters, are constantly degraded in the media because of their body flaws. The same does not happen to men. And thus, society tells young girls that if they are to be perfect, they have to look like the women in the magazines--women who do not exist anywhere on this planet. 

Of course, eating disorders are a largely silent issue among young men, and the media plays a part here as well, telling young men that they need well-defined muscles and a lean body in order to be perfect, well-liked, etc.

So, the bottom line is that the media does not cause eating disorders. But they do feed unhealthy body image among young men and women, pushing them to believe appearance is what is most important  And that to be "perfect," they have to achieve that ideal body shape.

Truthfully, every single person on this earth is absolutely beautiful and perfect just the way they are. I definitely did used to wish I could just naturally be super thin (and I sometimes still do), but I've come to accept that that's not what my genes code me for. I'm relatively thin, yes, but I will never have pencil legs. My thighs will always be muscular and large, allowing me to run and walk and hike and dance. I will never look like a model, because I didn't win that genetic lottery. But I (most of the time) love the way my body is. After years of punishing it, I love it for everything it does for me. Without my body, I couldn't run or dance or laugh or learn or live. My body kept on pushing while I persistently tried to destroy it, and that in itself is amazing.

So this is what I encourage everyone to do: Do your best, every day, to find the one thing about your body you like. Compliment yourself on that piece. Don't shy away from the mirror. Accept people's compliments. You can't see yourself like everyone else does. Someone, somewhere, thinks you are beautiful.

But, importantly, if you think you are beautiful, if you really believe that about yourself, that confidence and light that shines through you only increases your natural beauty.

So don't give in to what society tells us. Find good role models and be a good one for the men and women in your life, of all ages. 

But, do be patient with eating disorder sufferers. This type of acceptance is a long road, one that I'm not even halfway down yet. Recognize that their self-esteem is wrapped up in how they look, and try not to talk about it. Don't tell them they look "healthier" or "better now they aren't so bony" etc. 

For all of the young women in your life, compliment them on who they are and what they do. Not what they look like.

Because heart, intelligence, trust, love, smiles, and confidence will always be more important than external beauty.

Finally, I encourage you to watch these two videos. And offer love and kindness to the young women, the old women, everyone in your life.