- Seen Obama talk at CC (Thursday). It was quite fun. I mean, it was also very hot and we had to wait outside for over an hour for him, but I definitely felt that it was worth it. There are many reasons I love our president. And maybe closer to election time I will do a blog post just about that. But one reason I love him is that Mr. Obama is just so personable. His speeches are so eloquent. He truly knows what he is talking about. He makes me feel like he really understands the plight of students, the middle-class, most of America. He was one of us before he got going onto his wonderful career path. And he truly does want to make any opportunity open to anyone. He doesn't want anyone tied down by a lack of money or healthcare: as long as we work hard, we can work toward anything at all. Truth. Also, when one person passed out because of the heat, he didn't ignore it. He worked it right into his speech and drew some humor out of the situation, while also reminding the rest of us to drink water and such. Win. :) Part of me wants to volunteer for the Obama campaign once I get back to Hawai'i even though I 1) won't be voting there and 2) If he doesn't win Hawai'i, he's screwed. I just think it would be fun.
- Gone to Water World with my dad and sister (Sunday). It had been 3 years since the last time I'd been there. It was fun. I still think I'm more of an ocean girl, but it was overall a fun day of family bonding. The water-powered roller coaster was especially cool, since I've wanted to go on one ever since I saw the one at Schlitterbahn on the Travel Channel back when I used to watch that channel.
- Been watching Shark Week. I love sharks. But more on that topic tomorrow.
- Gone to lunch with some amazing girls from my movement group (today).
That last event was particularly lovely, because I have missed all of those girls so much. I hadn't seen any of them since January, and even that was also just for a lunch. I miss our Sunday afternoon groups so much, because the group of 7 of us was just so...lovely. I felt so accepted from the first day I went in January 2011. All of these girls are so open to talking about anything. They don't hold back their feelings or emotions, and so they made me feel okay to continue my life after discharging from the edu where I had learned to do just that.
Together, we breathed. We cried. We danced. We painted. We traced each other's bodies. We laughed. And we built a beautiful foundation of friendship and love. Every single time I went to group, I felt just a little bit more alive and a little bit more loved.
And you know what is especially lovely? Both of those lunches, first after 5 months and then after 7 months, I still felt completely normal and accepted and happy. I am the first to admit that I am an incredibly awkward person, and so when I haven't seen someone for a while, I often don't know what to say or how to act. I'm afraid that people won't remember me or actually never liked me that much or just are no longer interested in my life. But all of these girls truly, truly are.
From the first hug to the last and all of the laughs and stories in between, I could feel myself smiling and warming. Inside and out. Truly, these girls are beautiful. Every single one of them is so authentic. They ask the questions that matter, but they also laugh and complain. Because, yes, we are still teenagers. But I truly feel that each of us is separated from many other teenagers by one thing: we aren't afraid to live and love and be ourselves. We take the risk, every day, to be alive and express who we really are. How many people do that in a lifetime?
I will admit that around some people, I am too afraid to express who I really am. I try, I really do. That is why I am so open about my eating disorder. That's why I do try to talk to my friends when I'm upset. And that's also why I am apt to just randomly start dancing even when no music is playing.
Because I have lived through the torturous cage of not expressing myself. I let something else take over my brain and change me. I will not live through that again. I cannot. And so I am grateful to these girls. After a summer of feeling like I was losing myself because I couldn't truly talk to anyone, I found myself again today. I was reminded of the beauty of people, and, yes, the beauty of myself. People care about me. People want to hug me and hear me talk, even about the most simple things. Yes, we are still teenagers. I am still a teenager. We complain, we party, we spend too much time online when we should be studying. ;)
But we are also beautiful human beings, composed of the most beautiful stardust. I remind msyelf every day to breathe that in, and to let that starlight within me shine out into the world.
I should not be afraid of being different. There are people who love me for taking the risk of expressing who I really am. There are, of course, people who do not. But I can never please everyone. I just have to keep striving on, expressing myself, and finding my niche in the world. My people are out there. My people are here, too, of course. And I very much hope to be able to see them again over Winter Break. For as much as I love Hawai'i, every time I get a Soma e-mail, my heart aches for those afternoons of love and light and dance.
Cheers!
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life the better. The minute anyone makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it." -Amy Poehler
Word of the day: miasma--a noxious atmosphere or influence; unpleasant or unwholesome air
Days until Hawai'i: 9
Shark of the day: Spinner Shark
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