So yes. That is my rationalization.
I feel like I'm rationalizing my thoughts and actions quite often here. It's probably not very interesting or entirely necessary, but it helps me to think through what I'm doing. Plus, if I write down my plan for the rest of this evening, I'll feel more inclined to actually follow through with that plan. Granted, no one who is actually reading this blog can enforce what I say I will do, but it feels to me like I almost have to do it if I write it down to tell the world. Almost.
I'm a little less stressed out today. But only a little. I turned in my writing essay and got a 100% on it, which felt quite good. We reviewed for my stats test today and as long as he follows roughly the same question style for the test on Thursday, I think I should be fine. I'll study more at work tomorrow, of course, but I think I'll be good. And I'm basically done with my lab report; I just have to ask my professor one small question about it.
However, I still have to:
1) Write my part of our literature review paper on shark fisheries and put the paper together since apparently I've been given the duty of making sure everyone does the work....
2) Write my communications paper on fetishism (the exploitation of the female body in particular) in Charmed.
3) Find a research article and make a presentation about it for my marine biology lab.
4) Memorize the scientific names of 43 organisms and take a test on them.
5) Take 4 finals.
6) Find a job for the summer.
7) Figure out apartment for next year.
Yeah. But I'm doing better today. It's still almost the same amount of work, but I keep reminding myself to breathe. It'll be okay. I always seem to get through the semester. If I got through IB tests last year, I can do this. I just need to sit down, focus, and get work done.
It's harder in college, though, because most of my other freshmen friends don't have nearly as much work as I do. Mainly because I'm taking more sophomore level classes, but yeah. So I can hear friends laughing and having fun downstairs while I'm trying to finish a paper. It makes me sad, and makes it all that much harder to focus...
I'll probably end up going to the library on Monday afternoon/evening so I can really get some work done without worrying about what other people are doing.
I do that too much, for sure. I need to remember to just live for myself and only be concerned about what I'm doing. I can't compare my life to the lives of my friends and family. Everyone lives a different life. And that life is right for them. My life is right for me. Etc.
Anyway. What else?
In Communications today we were watching parts of Taken because it really possesses a lot of the gender issues we've been looking at this semester. In particular, she was having us look at the reflexive sadomasochism paradigm. Looking at in the context of that paradigm was interesting, but I mostly just couldn't help but think about how ridiculous the movie was. Like, I understand the concept and the movie is a good movie to have teenagers watch before they decide to travel to Europe on their own. (Ha!) But...also just kind of ridiculous acting, in my opinion. And definitely not a movie I enjoyed (the first bit of it we watched at least) or would watch of my own accord. But meh. As I discussed in August, I tend to have very different opinions on what kind of movies are worth watching. I'm picky. And I know that I am.
Hopefully I can remember to call the place I'm getting my haircut and e-mail the head of the internship department in Mystic tomorrow morning. Hopefully.
I really am starting to get excited about interning in Mystic. It's definitely scary, especially since I don't yet know if I'll have a job to complement the internship, but it's also just such a wonderful experience. Something different, something fun, doing what I love: teaching people about marine biology. With any luck, everything will work out.
I find myself being infinitely less interesting in these blogs than I was in BEDAugust. But I do have a lot of schoolwork, and, again, I write mostly for myself, just to get my thoughts out on paper. So, if you are reading this, first: Hello. And second: I hope you aren't too bored with my life musings.
Here's something fun for you:
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, “This is what it is to be happy." — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Word of the day: aught--anything whatever, any part
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