In a weird mood today. I had a pretty good morning (if rushed so I could get to the Academic workshop), and it was okay at work today. But then I got back from work, went to dinner, and came back to my room. Alone. And I just crashed inside. I couldn't quite find the motivation to do anything. I vaguely worked on my lab presentation and started writing this blog (finding the quote and word), but mostly just ambled around on my computer, not really doing much of anything. My RA then came in to tell me to come to the barbecue. In my mind, I was thinking: Why? It's not like I'll be able to eat anything you have? Because school events generally fail at having vegetarian food other than fruit. Yeah, that's all we need to eat. /sarcasm/ Anyway, I did go along and just kind of stood around talking to some people for a while. I ate part of an apple, stared at it, realized it tasted like nothing, and gave up.
So now I'm sitting here. And I am both entirely unmotivated and ridiculously anxious about everything I have to do. I do want to finish my lab presentation and finish my easy Psych assignments. I do want to read the 3 articles I'll be using for my Communications paper and take relevant notes on them. I do, I really do. But I still can't quite bring myself too. The anxiety overwhelms me some days, as I've said.
What am I going to do about it? That's really what matters.
Well, I'm writing this, and that certainly helps. I'm going to take a step back and allow myself to do yoga to relax and ease both my mind and body. I will take a shower and make some tea. And then I will sit down at my computer.
Make my presentation for lab. Take notes on articles for Communications. Once those two things are done, I will see where I am and what time it is, since I do have to be awake at 7:00 tomorrow. I will push myself to get those two vital tasks done, but I won't push myself too hard.
Some perspective. Tonight, those things are all I really have to get done. Yes, in the big picture I need to write the actual Communications paper, but I'm not going to let that looming scary paper overwhelm my view and mind right now.
Just take it one step at a time.
Breathe. (Thank you, yoga, for always instilling this message in me).
Focus. Listen to music. Close the internet. Set small goals I can reach tonight. Then tomorrow night look toward the actual writing of the paper.
Anyway, would you like to know some facts about squalamine since that's what my lab presentation is on?
First, it's different from squalene, another compound found in the livers of sharks that is often put in cosmetics and is also tested on for its value in medicine. Squalamine is found in the livers of spiny dogfish sharks and sea lampreys. It has been proven to have antimicrobial properties. Squalamine can be manufactured in the lab, so it does not always require the fishing of sharks. Due to its chemical structure and its ability to cause a displacement of membrane-anchored proteins, the researchers in the paper I read theorized it also should be able to affect the replication of certain viruses. They studied both in Vitro and in Vivo, testing how the compound affected a variety of viruses. Ultimately, the squalamine proved to be active both in vitro and in vivo against a spectrum of viruses (both RNA and DNA-enveloped). This possibly explains why the shark seems to be surprisingly immune to various viruses, though its immune system does not necessarily respond quickly to invaders or viruses.
So yes. Potential new compound for creating antiviral drugs? I think so. Although I suppose I probably shouldn't make broad conclusions after reading this one paper. But I think it's important. And this just furthers my love for and interest in sharks. We definitely need to keep studying the various aspects of their biology in a sustainable fashion.
Yay sharks!
............Okay, now I just have to put all of that information (plus slightly more detail) into a PowerPoint presentation.
Breathe. Smile.
Smiling can drastically improve my mood. =)
Okay. I'm going to do yoga for a bit. Shower. Drink tea. Do as much of the presentation as I can, and absolutely take notes on those 3 articles for my paper. That really does need to get done tonight.
And then haircut, scholars bash, and apartment hunting tomorrow.
Entering the last stretch here. 17 more days until I'm home. Anxiety will overwhelm me a lot, I'm sure, but what really matters is how I deal with it. Healthily, happily, and in a way that I can still thrive. And I'll get through it.
Cheers!
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: "Anxiety is part of creativity, the need to get something out, the need to be rid of something or to get in touch with something within." -David Duchovny
Word of the day: discalced--barefooted
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