So, today I made the smart decision to not actually take APES, and just be that teacher's student assistant that period. I realized it will probably be SO nice to have a "free" period, or at least one I can be guaranteed not to get homework from. I can still listen in when I want to, or do homework, or help her grade stuff...but basically it will be a period in which I don't have to do work. I realized this yesterday when I was faced with how much English homework I'll be getting in particular, as well as my other hard science classes.
Ha, but what made me laugh was the fact that everyone I talked to about it was like, "yeah. I think that's a smart idea. You don't need that class, but you do need the time to have a break." The APES teacher, seniors who graduated last year, my school counselor, a couple friends. I mean, really. If they felt this way, why didn't they tell me BEFORE? When I signed up for that class. I mean, I know they can't really tell me not to take a class, but still. Funnily enough, my APES teacher was the most adamant about, "Yes. You need a break," with the underlying message of, "I wasn't really sure why in the world you were even taking this superfluous hard class..." Basically, everyone seems to have been thinking I was crazy but never told me. Thanks, guys. But really, I'd rather you tell me something like that.
I'm definitely feeling good about this decision right now. Last night I wasn't sure, but after EVERYONE seems to think it's a good idea, I find myself strongly agreeing. With 5 IB classes, AP Calc, the Extended Essay, and college apps...Yeah, I do need a break during the day.
Although my blue/gold days are severely unbalanced now. Even more than before. Blue days are: English (eep!), Chemistry, Calc, and History. Whereas Gold days are Biology, TA, Calc, and French, and Biology and French are both comparatively easy with little homework. But I'll manage. At least both days aren't ridiculously hard.
I also had lunch today with my good friend who graduated this past year. It was so lovely to see her, because she was one person last year who was always genuinely happy to see me and talk to me and...I really miss having her in classes. But I really am so excited for all of my friends that are leaving for college. Envious, but excited. I already know how exciting it must be to enter a new place, with new people and experiences, and be able to know yourself away from home. I have to wait a year for that, but I'll get there. (If I survive this year.*) I feel like as much as I don't want to do it, I have to serve my 4 years in high school like everyone else. It's very much part of the American experience. We did both agree that we'll miss the people, not the actual school. So maybe that's more normal than I thought.
I keep coming back to this topic, but whatever. It's on my mind a lot. So, TIME.
It's weird, because it's only been 3 days of senior year, and it already feels like it's been a lot longer than that. Not because I've adjusted to the schedule,** but because we've already been handed so much stuff and spent a considerable amount of time there. And, in a way, it feels like I never left. 10 weeks isn't that long of a time to be away in the grand scheme of things, so it's just like a long break and then we're right back into it.
Ha, and in another 2 weeks, I'll be saying, "Okay, now how long until I get a long weekend? October?!" Because time goes by so fast in retrospect, but in the present we feel like it hasn't been long at all or like it's been too long. I swear time works differently when we're looking at the past, present, and future. In the past, it feels like it went too fast. Right now, it feels like it's going either too slow or too fast, depending on what we're doing. And when we're looking at the future, it usually feels like it's going impossibly slow as we wait in anticipation, either dreading or looking forward to some event.
Basically, time is strange, especially since WE put the limits of hours, days, months, years, etc on it. When really, time might be much more random and in fact change depending on the situation. Who really knows? Ah, time...
Hmm. Well, I'm going to read this article for English one more time so I make sure I remember important details tomorrow morning. And then probably go to bed, while I can still go to bed at an early-ish time. Before homework REALLY attacks me.
Cheers!
Inspirational picture/quote of the day: "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." ~Abraham Lincoln
*I'm only 75% joking. I am kind of scared of this year, though everyone I know has survived it. Okay, so 89% joking...
**I definitely HAVEN'T. I'm not used to the sleeping hours, or the spending so much structured time somewhere during the day...It's still a little weird, but soon it will be normal. Very soon.
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