Staying Friends

Well. Back to school tomorrow. I feel like I've slowly started to get a bit more excited about going back. A week ago I was completely dreading it. But now I am kind of looking forward to being a senior, with all of the excitement and activities and fun that go along with it. Plus it's going to be nice to see my friends again, since I'm such a loner during the summer. And I'll deal with the homework--I'll complain a LOT, but I'll deal.

Anyway, today I watched several old episodes of Friends--from the very first season. And since this is just the way my mind works, I started thinking about how people stay friends for such long periods of time. In case you're not familiar with the show,* the entire group is friends for 10 years, while separate characters have been friends since high school or earlier. So up to 15 years? Or more? Well, the best I have now is remaining really close with one friend for 10 years. Which is pretty good, considering that I moved a lot as a little kid, and it's a lot harder to keep in touch with people when you're 6 or 7 years old. So, at 17, I think being friends with one person for 10 years is a pretty fair accomplishment.

I'm trying to picture us in another 5 or 10 years though. I'm not sure if we'll really be close anymore. I know we're definitely not even considering the same colleges or careers, so I really imagine us keeping in touch via Facebook and texting. If Facebook is still "in" in 5 years...Mostly, though, I can't picture staying really really close with anyone from school when I'm almost 30. We'll probably talk, but won't hang out or tell each other everything like they do on Friends. There are some people (my Denver girls) that I really HOPE I'm still close with in that time. And that I can sort of picture, since we've stayed so close even though we don't live anywhere near each other. But at this point in my life it's hard for me to imagine being 27 and still friends with the people from my school...My parents only recently got Facebook and are talking to some people from college, but didn't really keep in touch before then. So maybe it just doesn't happen very often.

I suppose in Friends though the amazing fact is that they stayed friends for 10 years while they were adults, getting married and starting families and changing jobs and all of that complicated life stuff. I guess my parents have stayed pretty close with some friends for a fair amount of time.** So I can imagine that to a certain extent, except that I don't know where I'll be living or how much traveling my job will contain...

I guess I've just been wondering what makes people stay friends. A lot of the time it's just being in the same place: high school, college, same city or apartment building, neighbors, work. Which is why a lot of friendships probably don't continue after someone moves--because that connection is no longer there. I do very much feel like my strongest friendships are the ones based on something more than school: the girls I've spent summers at camp with, my Harry Potter friends, the girls from the hospital. Because they understand me, we have something to talk about, and we have a lot of powerful memories together. I think that's one very strong thing that makes people stay friends: Forming great memories--both painful and happy ones. Being able to share both laughs and tears. Not being afraid of saying something to the other person.

Over the past couple of years, I've come to realize what a friend truly is: Someone who is always there to listen. Someone I can talk to, and who can talk to me. Someone I can laugh with, be stupid with, but also have some of the most powerful and intelligent conversations. Someone I can just sit with in complete silence. Someone I've cried, laughed, danced, sang, and experienced life with. The people who love me despite my mistakes. The people who I love and who care about me, no matter how far apart we live. It's not the people I go to school with, who talk to me because I'm there, though I do share memories with them. There's something about a true friend...a really understanding and connection that can't be broken by distance or time. A special bond that lasts, no matter what happens.

So I'm not sure who I'll still be friends with after college. If I'll make new friends who will stick by me even longer than the friends I have now. The only thing I know is that I will have friends who are there for me, who care, and who I experience life with. Friends I would give my life for. Friends help each other, and certainly are one of the most beautiful parts of life. They're the family you choose, and they love you by more than obligation.*** True friends are special, and I hope I can hold onto those ones. <3

Today I watched Friends (as I said), read some, and made sure I had everything for school tomorrow. It hasn't really hit me yet that summer is over, but I know it will when I'm standing in that auditorium at 7:12 tomorrow. Oh, and I also had an orthodontist appointment, which involved 20 minutes of waiting for the orthodontist to say "now you only have to wear your retainer for 2 days a week." Ugh. Waste of time, but okay.

I'm sure tomorrow I will ramble a lot about school. Ha. But we'll have to see if tomorrow is good or bad, because I feel like that will set the precedent for the rest of the year...

Anyway, on my last day of summer, I want to share this comic with you:

I'm totally with you, Calvin. Totally.

Cheers!!!

Days left of summer: 0 (T-11 hours and counting)

Inspirational quote/photo of the day:

*Okay, I'm sorry, but seriously, who ISN'T familiar with Friends? If you're not, stop reading immediately and GO WATCH IT. NOW.

**Although clearly they are older than the characters on Friends. My parents moved a lot at that age, so...

***That's not to say I don't love family/family isn't a strong bond. But family and friends are a different type of love and different connection.