Today, I organized all of my school binders. Meaning I decided what I wanted to keep in the binders, what I wanted to keep in a folder for my tests at the end of the year, and what I wanted to recycle. Not a very exciting task, but I did realize how many freaking notes I took in European history this past year. WOW. I loved that class, but I'm not going to miss having to take so many notes. My wrist will be a lot happier, I'm sure. I also found all of my book covers* and a fair amount of pens, so I guess I'm all set for Tuesday. Well, I'm supplied. Not quite mentally ready for it yet...
BUT. I have discussed school enough, and will be discussing it more once it actually starts. So today I am going to discuss the internet.
The internet is two things: It's a wonderful way to connect with and meet people and it's also an incredibly terrifying way to reveal a lot of information to complete strangers.
I tend to focus on the former. I'm an incredibly shy and quiet person, which means it's not easy for me to connect with people face to face, at least not in large settings. When I'm at camp for 2-4 weeks with the same group of people, then I connect with the girls because we're stuck together, suffering and laughing and crying. Or at the hospital--we became so close because we were suffering and learning and just going through this experience TOGETHER. But I've never been very good at making friends at school. I mean, I have classmates that I talk to in class and occasionally in the hallway/at lunch. Very few, though, with whom I actually do stuff outside of school. Very few who really know me other than the grades I get on tests and the statements I say in discussions. So I really appreciate the internet.
I met my Harry Potter friends through the internet, or at least because of the internet. Even the ones I met at conventions/concerts, I wouldn't have met without knowing about the existence of those things thanks to the internet. I have actually met several good friends through BEDA.
More than that, though, the internet allows me to keep in touch with people. I'm so shy that I HATE talking on the phone, so even when that was an option, I made up excuses not to keep in touch with people. When I was younger, I still wrote letters to my best friend from Texas. But mostly I just let people forget me as time went on and I still didn't contact them. With the internet, that doesn't happen. Facebook, especially, lets me keep in touch with my good friends who live far away. Conversations on Facebook/Skype have really saved me sometimes. There's nothing like hearing someone's voice and seeing their face and being next to them, but just talking helps. I do think that without the internet, I wouldn't have kept in such good touch with my close friends from camp/the hospital/HP stuff. So I really treasure that. Granted, I do love sending and receiving letters, but I know that's not the best way of keeping in touch. The internet is instantaneous, and somehow feels closer than getting a letter someone wrote a week ago. So I'm so glad I live in the generation where the internet is how we talk to each other.
That saying, I don't totally ignore my second point: How scary the internet is. I'm careful not to share too much with the public--my address, my phone number, the name of my school, where I am at all times of the day. My privacy settings on Facebook are ridiculously exact, and I check them once a month to make sure Facebook hasn't changed anything. However, I know I'm probably not careful enough. Anyone searching me on the internet knows I live in Colorado Springs. And if they know my last name, they could easily discover my home. *shudders* And then I read something like THIS. Um...WHAT? There are so many ways we reveal information, and who knows who could pick that up and try to find us. Eep.
But I'm never the kind of person who goes searching for that information on people. Or if they offer it, I don't immediately begin stalking them. For example, Maureen is currently in Denver. I live 60 minutes away, and could easily gather information off of her photos she's posted and go stalk her. I'm not going to, because I know it would freak me out and I don't want to freak HER out. Just sayin'--it's easy to find people. Scarily easy.
The internet has allowed us to connect with a lot more people, but I don't think we can quite fathom just how many people we are connecting with, some of whom might want to hurt us or watch us or...in general, just aren't people we want to be sharing information with. The best we can do is share as little information directly as we can, and be wary of the "secret" ways people gather our information.
And, in the meantime, continue to be grateful that the internet exists. I really would have had a much different adolescence without the internet. I'm sure it still would have been a lot of fun and full of great friends, but maybe not as many. I'd be a different person today. Which is weird to even consider. I'm a lot more honest online, especially in things like this blog. I feel more comfortable talking, maybe because I don't have to offer up everything, but can choose how much to provide people. Really, I love that I have the opportunity to spread my ideas, feelings, and thoughts. I do think I could survive without the internet (as evidenced by my 2 week experiment last August). I don't depend on it entirely, especially during the school year when my time on the internet is minimal as I scramble to finish homework and do everything else I need to do in the evenings and get at least some sleep every night. I DO still write letters to several of my close friends, in addition to internet contact. I still read a lot, and I love spending time outside, running or hiking in our beautiful mountains. I never do want to become entirely dependent on the internet or technology, partly because of this one terrifying X-Files episode.** Ha, but also just because I LIKE experiencing the world outside of a little screen. It's scary, it's personal, it's painful sometimes. But it's life, and I just have to take it as it comes--through the internet or right outside my front door.
I'm going to try to enjoy my time to relax over the next 3 days. Luckily I've done most of my research--I only have 2 more PDF files I want to read--until I get input from my advisor. And that has to wait until school. Hurray!
Well, tomorrow you will get 3 more confessions from me. Are you excited?!*** I know I am!!!!
Tonight, I leave you with this:
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