First, I can't believe I forgot to wish Hank a happy birthday yesterday!!! Gah!!! Happy Hanko de Mayo, Hank!!!! Thank you so much for everything you've taught me and all of the crazy things you have done in the name of the nerdfighters.
Today was okay. I woke up at 9:00 and then hurriedly got ready so I could Skype my parents. It was nice, because I could actually Skype in my room for the first time since October. I mean, I love my new roommate, but it was nice to have a little bit of alone time in the morning on a Sunday when I wasn't worried about doing homework and had time to Skype. Definitely felt nicer than having to go out in the common room where people just randomly walk by and slam doors randomly. But then I basically spent the rest of the day at work. I cleaned some and relabeled some books, in the process giving myself a rather deep cut on my hand with the razor we were using. Oops. And I made flashcards for marine bio, comm, and redid several math quizzes to raise my online score in that class to a 99%. Phew. So I'm pretty good for finals week. I'll spend the time tomorrow between my therapist and physical appointment continuing to study in Kailua, revising papers, bugging my group members, etc.
We also had our first finals week food night today that I helped set up, where there were delicious carrot cake bread things. And I then had a rather embarrassing moment while running around campus, but it's okay because no one else saw. NO ONE. Ha, and it probably marks me even more as a runner now...
But overall not exciting. We'll hopefully get everything in to the apartment realtor tomorrow and then find out on Tuesday where we stand and if we'll be able to pick up the keys and start moving in. *fingers crossed*
Anyway. I've been spending a lot of my time lately watching through 2008's fiveawesomegirls videos, and I'd forgotten how much I love these girls. I'm up to September, and Kristina's been talking about how scrambled her life is (was?) because she's starting a new school and moving into her first house, etc. About how she loves change and craves it but hates having to leave things behind. I think that's almost exactly how I feel. I'm excited for the changes in my life: Connecticut internship for 9 weeks, moving into my first apartment, finding an off-campus job, etc. But it's all a little scary still. I hate leaving things behind and having to say goodbye to this life, especially after only a year of living how I've been. Yet I do crave that change. I just have to keep reminding myself to breathe and whispering to myself that it's okay to just jump in. I know by now I'm capable of flying and I know the stars up above are watching for me, and Nick's spirit continues to guide me. Always.
"I feel like there are two kinds of people in the world. There are people who walk on sidewalks, and people who, if there is a ledge nearby, will instead hop up on the ledge and walk there, arms out and balancing. I'm a ledge walker." -Kristina Horner
That beautiful quote by the lovely Kristina is true in so many ways for me. First, I literally do have the tendency to jump up on ledges and walk on them, balancing and laughing. Or just walk on the edge of the sidewalk and road, feeling the possibility of freedom and the joy of living.
But looking at those words in a slightly less literal way, they still hold true. I won't always stay on the "sidewalk." I won't always stay on the same path. In general, yes, I continue to follow my dreams, but I'm willing to walk on a ledge, have to balance a little and watch out for falling, in order to reach those dreams. I know I can't reach my dreams following a simple, straight sidewalk that someone else has laid out for me. Too many other people walk on that sidewalk. I need to find my own way to walk through life, my own little meandering path to travel on. Sometimes I might end up on the sidewalk, but when the chance comes, I'm going to hop up on that ledge and see where life takes me.
I love the feeling of balancing. I love holding my arms outstretched, almost convincing myself that at any moment, I could fly.
And maybe I could. Maybe I am.
Do you like to walk on the ledges? Or do you stay on the sidewalk?
I, too, am a ledge-walker, forever and always.
Cute chemistry cat joke to end this blog, and then a little bit of homework and a GOODNIGHT.
Cheers!
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: “Don’t just follow someone else’s trail. Create your own path!”
Word of the day: subderisorious--ridiculing in moderation
8 days until home!!!!
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