Today was a bit of a running around sort of day. I had my therapist appointment in the morning, which was fine. Then I went to stand in line at the post office for a good 20 minutes, only for them to tell me I had to go use the FedEx box in front of the building to send my package. Oooooookay. Whatever. Thanks for the $3.49 tape anyway. And in the afternoon I had my physical. The actual appointment took probably a total of 20 minutes, but the overall excursion lasted 3 hours. Ugh. Just one of the reminders that the buses are annoying. I still don't really want a car, though. I am blessed to go to college in a place that has a good public transportation system, and definitely here in Hawai'i buying a car wouldn't be cheaper. It would save time, yes, but would gobble up way too much money. Plus, whenever I do finally get my first car, I want to be able to buy a really good car, which I definitely cannot afford right now.
Anyway, it was just a little weird, because I'm not usually as busy as I have been over the past 2 weeks. Running around a lot. It's a nice change, but also freaks me out every once in a while until I remember to breathe again. It was also weird not having class today.
And for a good 30 minutes just now I was convinced it was Tuesday. But it can't be, because I haven't taken my Stats final yet. Well, at this point, it will be Tuesday in 20 minutes. Ah, well.
Also, while I was in the shower, I suddenly just started feeling this overwhelming rush of anxiety. It really didn't make any sense, as 1 minute before that I had calmly been talking to my friend, reminding her to e-mail her documents for the apartment and complaining about my group paper. So I couldn't quite figure it out, but my heart rate was definitely faster and I couldn't get the onrush of thoughts to go away. I think the most annoying thing about anxiety disorders is sometimes you really cannot figure out why you feel so anxious. And then you start focusing on your physical feelings and continue to feel more anxious. Yeah.
But I just drank some tea and studied one last time for my Stats test. And I think I'm a little better now.
Although I am quite frustrated. I really do hate that my group members put me in charge of compiling our paper that is due on Thursday and writing the Intro and Conclusion. Because that means I have to go through their sections, look for grammatical and citation errors (oh, god, the citation errors!) and then put together a long list of references. I'm hoping the professor doesn't grade it too much on the overall paper and rather on each person's section. I'm going to go ahead and put in a Table of Contents saying who wrote what section, even though she didn't ask for it. It can't hurt, and I do want to make it clear. Not that I think anyone's section is awful or even bad, but I want each of us to get graded more on the work that we actually did. /rant over/
On top of that, though, I also have to finish revisions for my writing paper, which is so annoying because I got 100% on the essay and none of my group members offered me any feedback. So I have no clue what to change for revisions. I'll probably do a few small things, like adding two sentences about economics and shifting my discussion of deterrence so it's all in one section. Bleurgh. /second rant over/
Okay. Woops. Ranting time tonight?
I'm okay, really. Nothing I have to do is super hard, but finals week always feels kind of stressful. But I'm not as stressed out as I remember being in high school, which in a horrible circle is making me feel more stressed. Stupid brain.
After dinner (before working on the stupid group paper), I watched Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Tulane commencement speech, and my god, I love that woman so much. She is so genuine and so funny and so truly caring. Her final piece of advice to the graduates was to "Just Dance." And while I recognize the comedic aspect of that advice, I think it can mean something much more powerful as well. When you dance, you let go of your worries for a while and just let your body move you and express your feelings. I know from experience how wonderful and powerful an experience that is. I honestly think everyone should take the time to just dance in their room or outside in their front yard. For a little while, at least, don't care so much what the rest of the world thinks about you.
Just Dance. And keep breathing, through the stress and anxiety and frustration as well as the wonderful times.
Cheers!
Inspirational quote/photo of the day: “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
Word of the day: kickshaw--a trinket or bauble; a culinary delicacy
No comments:
Post a Comment